Descentering men: the word it getting out Facebook advise!
Sophia Young
Here’s what I did:
First and foremost , realize that your life is not supposed to revolve around them.
Most of us were taught to measure our worth through men - whether a man likes us, chooses us, marries us, or stays with us. De-centering men means taking that power back.
Here are a few practical ways:
- Build a life that excites you without needing a man in it. Find hobbies, passions, travel, learning, fitness, art—whatever genuinely brings you joy.
- Strengthen your relationships with other women. Women supporting women creates a powerful network that doesn’t depend on male validation.
- Stop analyzing men’s behavior.
Instead of asking “Why did he do that?” start asking “Does this behavior work for my life?”
- Invest in your independence.
Financial independence, emotional independence, and having your own interests changes the entire dynamic.
- When you choose to start dating, date from a place of choice, not need. A man should add to your life, not become the center of it.
The moment your life becomes full of things you love (your work, friendships, passions, peace), you stop chasing men. And ironically, that’s when men stop having power over your sense of worth. Your life becomes the main story. A man becomes a side character who ONLY STAYS if he brings value. Do not behave from the standpoint of scarcity. There are so many men and so few good ones.
You make the choice. But only out of your desire. Fill your life with so much of love toward yourself and adopt the mindset, “if he can’t make my life better than I’ve already made my life, then he has no place in it.”
Hope that helps. All it takes is you doing it.
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